Monday, August 1, 2011

my house stinks like dog

or so i think it does. it's all i smell all the time. dog, wet dog, dog food, dog pee, dog saliva, dog breath. and i gotta tell ya, i'm over it. big time. i am so over it, in fact, that i am going to spend a few days venting about it here. but not just about the smell--also about the mess, in general, that desmond has brought into my sanctuary.

maybe i think it's worse than it actually is, or maybe it's actually way worse than i realize.

these people are obviously pretending they can't smell it (thanks, photostock, for this semi-creepy picture of a family who may not actually like their dog all that much. he's barely included in the photo.)

what i do realize is there is little i can do about the smell, the hair, or the general mess--without quitting my job to clean 24/7 or getting rid of desmond. so, live with it i must, while doing the best i can to not gross myself out. i always ask desmond why he has to be so messy & stinky, and he just gives me the silent treatment. i guess it hurts his fragile ego.

"ok, mom. i understand if you have to wash my bed, but do you have to make fun of me, too?"
what? i do.

we've removed the three area rugs that lived in our house, because they have all been peed on. we cleaned them to our best ability, dried them, and now have them stored in our shed. our intention is to give them a deep rug shampoo once the weather cools and we have time to focus our home-maintenance efforts on indoor projects (it kills me to waste even a moment during the warmer months working on something inside the house).  our hope is that by the time that happens, desmond will be almost never having an accident in the house and it will be safe to put the rugs back on the floor. if they have been cleaned to my liking.

i do not have a very good feeling about it, because...ya know...urine kind of sticks around. the little hall rug and the kitchen mat, i don't really care about at all (and welcome the chance to get new ones), but our living room rug took us forever to find and was expensive--and it's less than a year old. please cross your fingers for me that we can salvage the big rug. cross them now and hold that pose until further notice (rough estimate: sometime before thanksgiving).

while i'm putting it out there, wanna know a secret? i often smell poop and get panicky that he pooped under something somehow and it's just there festering. joey says i'm nuts. i don't see what that has to do with anything.

even if we eliminate elimination from this discussion, desmond still stinks like a dog. and it's not that we don't bathe him or otherwise attempt to keep him fresh and clean--without messing up skin and coat, of course. heck, i can prove it.

"yeah, that's right. i'm about to get all bathed up, and i look cute while i wait."

then there's desmond's breath. his breath is ridonculous (as a result, so are the pools of saliva he leaves whenever he's chewing on something--and i kid you not, he is in the next room going to town on a nylabone right this second. that will be fun to clean before bed). we brush his teeth and have tried various treats to fight doggie breath (dentastix, greenies, busy bone dental, nutrident, breathies). helps only a little. we also bought doggie chewing gum to give him when we go see his grandparents (yes, i know we are crazy). we even tried a supplement that looks like mouthwash for his water bowl, but we've had to stop using it because his new thing is drinking and drinking and drinking and drinking and then throwing up a few minutes later. awesome. that's another of his messiness issues. we try to keep it at bay by watching him when he drinks and taking the bowl away if we have to, but sometimes it takes very little water to make him throw up. he is a dog of many woes.

"what? just because the cover's in the wash i can't relax in my bed? who makes up these rules, anyway?"
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