Friday, July 22, 2011

my dog ate my homework purse


look what desmond did:

i keep trying to tell you guys he's a jerk

i felt something wet on the straps when i was walking up from the train this morning, but i assumed it was actually just cold instead of wet (the LIRR is like 30 degrees in the summer). eventually, i looked at my bag after i kept feeling the same coldness/wetness, and that's when i discovered that someone had been gnawing on it.

well, joke's on him, because that purse ain't real leather! ha! you chewed on synthetic crap. who's laughing now? oh right...he is. because i'm the fool who has to go buy a new bag. this is why i can't have nice things. well, actually, no. i can't have nice things because i am a slob and a klutz, but i can blame whatever i want on the dog now, so, there.

the straps being still wet lead me to believe that this happened not that long ago, although our bedroom was cold (and somehow still pretty humid), so it may have happened in the middle of the night and never dried. then again, desmond was hanging out in there most of the morning, so it may have happened when we were up getting ready.

why oh why does he do this stuff? he has chewed on two of joey's sneakers also. these three bouts of the munchies occurred when we were home, so that's a little bit like, "hey, jerk, how about you just come sit with us instead of chew on our stuff because it smells like us? come over here, sit down, chew on a toy, and we'll rub your belly, you dummy." i may start rubbing my own belly, actually--with his toys. perhaps that will help.

(oh my gosh, i just realized there was a typo in my original post title. i want to die a little bit.)
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