Friday, April 8, 2011

expanding real estate

desmond is kind of a jerk and fully a scaredy-cat. we let him roam in the dining room and kitchen yesterday--after the full baby-proofing of all drawers and cabinets he could reach (and let me tell you, those damn baby locks suck. they are successfully keeping mommy out of the drawers and cabinets. i assume i'll accidentally snap one sometime soon.)--and apparently that wasn't good enough.

at this point, i wouldn't be all that surprised if he figured out how to unlock and open our back door, open the storm door, and follow us to the train. maybe he'll even figure out a way to get into one of our offices so he can sit under the desk and lick pant legs until he falls asleep and starts to snore.

here's a list of things he did while joey was out yesterday:

  • peed on the hall floor & rug
  • pulled out the door stop that's attached to the lower molding by the back door
obviously, joey pried it off the wall since then

  • chewed on the gate that blocks his entry to the living room
  • scratched up the wall just on the other side of the gate that blocks the stairs
at least it's only paneling underneath

  • knocked the telephone off the wall
we assume he was jumping on the gate when he performed this trick

oh, he also jumped over the living room gate and perched his jerky butt on the couch.
where joey found desmond upon return

at least he left the living room basically untouched. only the cushion behind him and his nuddle were askew. this all happened after joey had left for an hour two times earlier in the day, and desmond had been perfectly behaved. when he was gone this time, it was only for a half hour or so. joey left again to pick me up at the train, and i'll let you guess where desmond was when we got back. 

after much discussion, we have decided to try letting him have the living room, too. we didn't take the gate down but are going to leave it open. we're going to leave the gate on the stairs closed in hopes that he won't jump over it onto the stairs, because we A) don't want him to get hurt on his landing--how the hell does a crazy, lanky, large dog land gracefully on a narrow set of not-really-carpeted stairs without breaking a leg?--and B) we really don't want him going upstairs when we aren't home. 

there are two bedrooms up there; one is a bedroom with a door and one is an office with no door. the office has many items in it he cannot be licking/playing with/peeing on/chewing on/knocking over. we can only hope that he stays downstairs at this point. if we find that he's jumping that gate, too, we'll have to buy a door for the office and keep it closed. if this dummy wants to scratch on all my doors, i don't really give a crap. half of them need to be sanded anyway. maybe i should attach some low-grit sandpaper to his eagle talons...

i have spent the morning removing many fragile items from the living room, just in case. the thing i'm most nervous about is if desmond decides to bite/scratch the electronics or the ottoman/coffee table. the electronics can hurt him, and if he hurts our TV, i will lose my mind. the hierarchy of love around here goes like this:

1. spouse
2. TV
3. everything else

ok, fine, desmond has since bumped the TV down a notch, but still. that's our original baby, and i will not be pleased if something happens to it. i guess we'll find out a little later today. ugh.
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